SICK DAYS

I can't remember a time when I have been so sick as this past week. I was pretty sick with a virus when I was pregnant with Anna-Marie, even went into labor. Obviously all ended well. But this week, my lands. The kids started us of f by both having strep throat and fevers for a few days. They bounce back the day after they start antibiotics, Anna-Marie was bouncing around that afternoon. ME ~ four days later and I am still lying in bed. I have strep and I think maybe the flu. To make matters better I was up this morning with a cold sore (bad too) all the way to the chin. I have two ulcers in my mouth and now I think I might have pink eye. I'm no Doctor but wasn't the antibiotics supposed to help? If you know Michael very well you know he is a germaphobic. He's done very well trying to help, but he keeps his distance. Finally today he kissed me on the cheek and gave me a big hug. Trying to take care of sick kids while sick is NOT fun. Michael did take the kids away for the day yesterday. I watched TV. The reality show about the family with like 19 kids. The Duggar's I think. Really sweet. I enjoyed watching how their family functions. Got some good ideas. I've been able to read my Bible more. I love the Old Testament stories. I read and reread the story of Moses leading the Israelites out of captivity. Such parallels to my personal life. With His Mighty Hand God Brought Me Out of My Own Personal Egypt. Egypt represents bondage. While God has saved me from the ultimate bondage of sin. Hell has no hold on me and I am Heaven bound. However, I allow myself to be held to different "bondage's" everyday by the sins I allow or by not even being aware but still I let them in because I'm not on guard. Oh my bondage list is pretty long when I pour them out before the Lord. But, just like that pillar of cloud by day and fire by night, Jesus is ALWAYS there for me. Leading and guiding in the right direction. Patiently waiting for me to simply look up to Him for daily direction and guidance. Praise God for the Bible.

In addition to the things I've learned this week, Apparently NyQuil is personality altering for me. Yeah! apparently just getting the kids away so I could rest is not the only reason Michael took them and stayed gone for the afternoon. I do feel kinda bad about that. However, I was really beginning to think that I had picked up and mastered some foreign language. Because the kids didn't seem to either hear or understand a thing I was saying. Thankfully we've gotten that all straightend out now and we are all speaking English around here. I do love them but some days we must all admit we love to see them go to bed. It's been a rough week. I can't remember ever in my life missing four consecutive days of work. I love my job. I miss my students so much. I have one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, aside from stay at home moms. (which I did for five years)!! I do have the joy of teaching my own son and look forward to being Anna-Marie's teacher next year. I'm blessed really really blessed, unbelievably blessed. Apparently Michael has a vision problem. He came to me earlier and told me how absolutely beautiful I was. I mean really I wouldn't post a picture of myself right now because it would probably scare someone and make small children cry. I've been in PJ's for days, no make-up, cold sore running down my chin, one eye is bigger then the other. Love is blind. I'm so glad. I love him too.

A NEW YEAR!!

Well it is a "New Year" in so many ways. I am so thankful for a new year, for God's Grace. He brings newness to my life everyday. As I reflect back on 2009 I certainly can't complain. We continue to serve the Lord at our wonderful little church. I continue to love my husband. I enjoy hearing him teach our Sunday School class and his sermons from the pulpit. I really love his style of teaching. I think sometimes I take for granite just how smart he is. I LOVE being a mommy and all the joys and trials these new years bring. Six and eight. WOW! Can't believe my babies are six and eight. This year they will turn seven and nine. WOW!!! Anna-Marie's vision "discovery" has been truly a mixed blessing. While I am So thankful that we have discovered her perception problem and thankful we have a great doctor helping her. I still question and I still worry. Is this enough? Is this all, could there be any more problems? Did we miss any major developmental things? AHH sometimes it makes me sick as I ponder all my worries concerning her. Jesus gently reminds me of how much he is in control and how important she is to Him. What comfort this brings, still I must shamefully admit, I continue to worry. I am related to the Israelites after all. Anna-Marie continues to march to her own beat. She is an indescribable joy to Michael and I. Her wit is something very few people could ever match.

Nathan while sweet as pumpkin pie will incredibly impress me one moment and scare me to death the next. He taught himself how to multiply. Really impressive stuff. I'm his teacher and I haven't taught him this. And all this time I thought he needed me. He just up and decided to figure it out. Which tells me he is capable of understanding more then he lets on sometimes. He tends to be a follower and of course I get concerned. (would he follow someone off of a cliff?!?) Surely not. He does love Jesus. I catch him reading his Bible. Can not express how that blesses my heart. He sets up "work stations" just like his daddy. Books, commentaries, Bibles, highlighters; "studying' Just like his Dad. Boy do Michael and I fret over how much our children want to be like us.

When Anna-Marie is sassy and pouty I have to admit, that's ME
When Nathan is strong willed and stubborn Michael must admit that's ME

Weekly trips to Marietta has not been fun. I try to see the flip side. I mean really the HOV lane is from the Lord. Anna-Marie and I zip right through 75 thanks to the HOV lane. And our weekly Chick-fil-a is certainly nothing to complain about.

My desire to know Christ more intimately and to be more sensitive to the Spirit is always there. Have I always obeyed and listened? Most positively not. However, I truly desire to know Him more, to experience Him in a deeper level. I have to ask myself where my love is? As I reflect back on 2009 and how gracious and loving Jesus is to me, I'm convicted. I want to Love Him more this year than ever before. I want to impact someone else's life for the Kingdom. I love Jesus and I desire that everyone around me know that. Most importantly my family. Those that have to deal with me day in and day out. This year this is my hope:

May I be a light for them that reflects Jesus. May I be a love for them that resembles the embrace of Christ. May I be a source of strength and peace that draws them closer to the ultimate source of Life ~ Jesus

I have no doubts it's going to be a great year. Jesus is Lord. My hubby is a Godly man. Both of my children love the Lord. Jesus is in control, no matter what obstacles might come our way, we will choose to see these as opportunities. Opportunities to grow, to shine for Jesus, or to be molded more into His Image. Lottie Moon once said that if Jesus allowed trials to come into our lives then we must need them. She went so far as to basically say "bring them on". Knowing hardships push us closer to Christ. Lottie is a rare breed and if I could muster up half her faith; well I can't even imagine that, but I do praise the Lord that I get to read about and know about these awesome pioneers of the faith. I'm challenged by her and by Michael. It's a wonderful thing to say that you are challenged to grow closer to the Lord because of the awesome example that is set for you by your husband. I do realize how very blessed I am in this. "My cup runneth over". In my lifetime I've been able to know and be loved by two of the Godliest men. My Grandfather James Ray and then my hubby Michael. When my burdens sometimes seem to heavy to bear I remind myself how good God has been to me.

Hope that everyone reminds themselves how good God has been to them.

I can't believe it's been two months since I've written anything on my blog. Wow, time flies. We had a fabulous trip to Disney World. We can't stop talking about how much fun we had. It was only made possible because of my Mom. Early Christmas gift. It truly was constant fun. The kids were just the perfect age. They were tall enough to ride everything and just old enough to be thrilled by everything we did. Of course, I still haven't downloaded our pictures. Crazy digital cameras (worse thing that ever happened to me). Of course my kids always have funny quotes that I hope to keep with me forever because they make me smile.

Nathan~ as we are leaving Splash Mountain says "those things really should have seat belts". Mr. Cautious

Anna-Marie ~ as we are preparing to get on splash mountain I'm explaining that we will get wet, she looks up at me with a serious look "is the water clean?" Mrs. Cautious

Now we are all back to reality, work work work work work and then just for a little splash of something different we add in a little more work.

Really LIFE IS GOOD.

As we traveled to school this morning we always take this really twisty road. The kids love it, as they rock all around the van exaggerating every turn. We finally get off and Anna-Marie asks "Did they make that road just for kids" .

Of course they did!!!

Oh how thankful I am to the Lord for simple pleasures.

CHILDREN

Sometimes my children absolutely make my heart sing.


While Anna-Marie has been a tremendous trooper about all this vision therapy.

~hour sessions every day

~weekly trips to Atlanta

Nathan - well Nathan is another story. We've noticed lately that he is jealous of all the attention she has been getting. Michael especially has really been trying to take up a lot of time with him. Not to long ago we signed him up for Karate, so we've been trying to make a real big deal out of that for him. But the bottom line is jealousy is a sin. Sin must be dealt with. We have to take it off (or better said) let Jesus take it off, and then we must let Jesus replace it with His righteousness. We prayed with Nathan and confronted him about his sin. He handled it very well. Like any good southern baptist he said "we'll I have been jealous three times"

Three times ?!!? (more like three times one hundred)

But at least he is acknowledging his sin. I read somewhere recently that when a heart is filled with gratitude it has no room for envy. So Michael and I decided each night to have Nathan list out several things he is thankful for and to thank God in prayer. Two things stick out in my mind tonight that he was thankful for. Our neighbors, when I asked him why "they are nice" he simply says ~ watch out neighbors, children notice when you are nice and they will make mention of you in their prayers. (that's pretty convicting stuff). Also, he was thankful for my brother; his uncle James. Why ~ "because he is in the army". We are so thankful to have someone as wonderful as my brother protecting our country. Sweet boy there is hope yet. I call all these type of things growing pains. Children must grow up it is inevitable, and sometimes unfortunately it is a little bit painful. God is good and works it all out as part of his perfect plan.

Today Anna-Marie and I went to an arts and crafts festival with some friends. When we sat down to eat lunch she spoke up and told me that she overhead two women talking and one of them had a sick daughter. She wanted us to pray for her. My heart overflowed. She is my little prayer warrior. Anna-Marie has the prayer life of an age old saint. She believes in prayer and takes EVERYTHING to God in prayer. I was so touched that she desires to pray for the needs of others and not just her personal wants and wishes. She reminded us again at dinner to pray for this sick girl. We will never know who they are and they will never know how we lifted them up in prayer (at least not this side of heaven). God knows! ~ I am so thankful that he has given my daughter a heart for Him and a heart for prayer.

Yes indeed my children make my heart sing.

Anna-Marie during home vision therapy (so cute!!!!!)

Nathan our karate chopping ninja.

what a man!!!!!

Nathan's Birthday

In browsing through my photos I realized I never posted pictures from Nathan's birthday.~ Back in August ~(bad Mom) (Too Busy Mom)

At least we did have a party. Nathan invited all the boys from his class. We brought them all home with us, took them swimming, and then took them to get pizza. We had a blast. Michael was our main source of entertainment. I'm thinking of renting him out for other birthday parties. He threw the boys over and over. He was very sore the next day.

I'm still in disbelief that my little baby is eight years old. It does not seem possible. Where has the time gone. I fret ~have I done all the things with him I needed and hoped to do. Time is slipping out of my hands. Thankfully he is still very affectionate, it doesn't bother his manlyhood at all to hug his Mama. I'm thankful for his buddies. They are very sweet boys. Good friends are a gift from God. I pray he always makes wise choices in his friendships and that he would himself be a good friend.

~Eight years old just seems really old to me. Really, really old.

The View From My Pew

Over the years I've had the opportunity to view the church, the preacher, and the church members from different view points. Of course before I became a Christian I was merely a spectator. Then, after receiving salvation I was like a sponge, soaking up the word of God and loving every minute of it. I couldn't get enough. The view from my pew was very narrow. Not narrow in the negative since. Narrow in that I was only watching the pastor. I wanted to hear what message the Lord had given him for ME. Sunday to Sunday I knew that God had a word specifically for me. Over time unfortunately my view became wider. It hurts to be honest but I must be~ I became critical of others. The wider the view from my pew, the more critical I became. I've worn pews out and I've had pews that saw very little of me, Oh I was at church, but I was so busy working. Over time the Lord has convicted me and I realize that we all need God's grace and mercy every day. Our churches are made up of many different "pews". The pew of self pity, the pew of criticism, the pew of hurt and pain, and like my first pew the most awesome pew, the pew of a brand new believer~ I'll call it the pew of awe. When you are first saved you just have that sense of "awe" over what the Lord has done. Ten years have gone by since I sat in the pew of "awe". Trials and joys have brought us to where we are now. Serving Christ in a small local church. I LOVE IT. Today, this is the view from my pew. I look up to the pulpit and see the godliest man I know. I look up to the pulpit and hear the Word of God. It brings conviction and encouragement. I look up to the pulpit and I see my husband. I'm aware of the wider view, I'm aware now of the dangers of taking my focus off of where it needs to be. The view from my pew is awesome. I know that the man behind the pulpit lives what he preaches. I know that he has the utmost integrity. I also know the hours and hours he pours into studying and praying in order to bring God's message to God's people. My view is awesome. Of course I have to share my pew; there are two little ones in the pew beside me that I have to keep quiet and orderly.
Oh, I know we live in a fishbowl. Take a seat and watch a while. This is what you'll see. Non perfect people who love a perfect God. Michael and I are not perfect, our children are not perfect. I don't tell them to behave because their daddy is the preacher. I tell them to behave because that should be the expectation of any child. I don't live for Jesus because I know people are watching. I live for Jesus because I love Him.

VISION THERAPY

This is just one of those photos that's worthy of a second posting. I've shared with a few people of our struggles with her academics. While she is an awesome reader, she has always struggled with math. (Reversing whole concepts) Okay it's not just a struggle. Over time it has become a very noticeable problem and a big concern .

So after much prayer and the providence of God

(Lisa Smith)~God continues to use her in my life)

we were led to a vision therapist.

Anna-Marie has a spatial perception problem causing her to see double and also causing her to reverse.

Praise the Lord. We now know exactly what the problem is, and there is help and hope. There is always hope because of Jesus.

And Because of Jesus there is also help.

She will have to have therapy on her eyes for the next eight to twelve months, five days a week. Four with me, one in the office in Atlanta. It's a lot, but I am so thankful and she is too.

I wanted to share this with anyone because sometimes we suffer in silence so unnecessarily. I was so guilty of this. I really want a perfect world. I want Michelle's perfect world. I forget God calls the shots. I'm so glad he does. My prayer is that one day Anna-Marie will look back on this and see the mighty hand of God

I do know this Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We do not see this spatial perception as a "harm" but as part of God's will for our lives, and if we just let him He will work it all out for good, for His glory.